All right, so my last blog entry was pretty “head in the clouds” kinda dreamy, hopefully inspiring, which we all need once in a while, right? So how many of you actually took a step to make your dream a reality, or to bring yourself one step closer to a goal? EVERYONE? Awesome! (OK, I know, I am being facetious….just play along with me here for a sec.) So now what? What are you doing to continue your momentum? And who or what is going to hold you accountable? (Um…did he just say ACCOUNTABLE? What’s that???)
I am going to share with you a little story about accountability, and how it worked for me. I used to have a huge problem with biting my nails (I know…completely gross…not proud of it…but I’m only human.) I did it unconsciously until my friend at work who sat next to me said, “MARK! Stop biting your nails!!” She would remind me every day. And it got to the point to where I said, “I really need to do something about this.” So I told her that every time I bit my nails, or she caught me biting my nails, I would owe her 100 yen (Equivalent to about $1…at that time anyway…). The first day, I handed her a total of 1,000 yen. The next day, another 1,000 yen. I knew I needed to do something about this nail biting thing, or else I was going to go broke. Gradually, my nail biting became less frequent (and my wallet and social life thanked me whole-heartedly.) I even started counting how many times I bit my nails on the weekends and handed my friend the amount of money I owed for my transgressions. It was because I knew someone was holding me accountable for a goal that I set, that I eventually stopped biting my nails. To celebrate, my friend and I took the money I had saved up and went out for the most amazing Korean barbecue I have ever had (I won’t tell you how much money I ended up handing over to her, but let’s just say we ate very, very well.)
Why do we fail to accomplish goals we set for ourselves? One reason is because no one holds us accountable for these goals, or what we say we are going to do around them. How many of you have set goals, for example, at work, and the only time you look at them is when you’re writing your year-end review? I am guilty of being on both ends of that one, both as an employee and a manager. I would set goals for myself, but would never strive to complete them because my manager would never ask, “Hey Mark, how are you going with ABC?” As a manager, I know that I could have done a much better job reviewing goals with my staff and ensuring they were getting done.
So how can you guarantee that the goals you set for yourself, both short term and long term, get done? How can you ensure that you are being held accountable for the things you want to achieve? Here are a few ideas that might work for you:
1) Find someone to hold you accountable—Ask a friend, a co-worker, a coach, your partner, or anyone you trust to help hold you accountable for goals you set. Give them specifics on how you want to be held accountable. You can try meeting for lunch every week, having them send you a daily e-mail reminding you of your goal, or just doing regular check-ins to make sure that you are on track. Having someone on the outside not only to hold you accountable, but also to be your support and encouragement will help you speed down your road to success.
2) Create an accountability chart—Remember those “chore charts” you used to have on the refrigerator when you were a kid? You would put a sticker, or a star next to the name of the chore after you accomplished it? Do the same for your goal. Every time you accomplish something that brings you closer to your goal, put a star on that chart. It sounds extremely “Kindergarten style”, I know. But studies have shown that people become more confident and more empowered to do more with their goal if the visually/physically see progress. If you are not making progress, you will be able to see it, and will need to come up with a way to help you get from where you are now to where you want to be.
3) Form a “Goal Group”—Do you have a goal similar to someone you know? Maybe you want to run a marathon, and you have a friend or two who want to do the same. Form a group! Put a plan together of how you are all going to work together to keep each other motivated and on track. Having others around you with similar goals keeps you pumped up, and now you have several heads to come up with new and fun ideas on how to bring yourself closer to achieving that goal.
Accountability is key to achieving your goals. So now that you’re on your way, how are you going to hold yourself accountable so you can reach your goals?
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
"If you can dream it, you can do it."
We all have dreams. I will admit it…I have them too. One of them is to own this awesome house on the north-east corner of Sanchez and 21st in San Francisco (Big dream, I know. But if any of you happen to stroll up that direction, you’ll know why it’s one of my dreams.)
In researching what the word “dream” is defined as, my dictionary gave me two definitions.
“A cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.”
AND
“An unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy.”
(Did they just say “self-deluding”? Isn’t that kinda harsh?)
How many of us categorize our dreams using the former definition, and how many categorize using the latter? More importantly, how many of us go from defining our dreams from the former TO the latter? God knows I have…countless times. OK, granted I do think that dreams that are associated with luck (like winning the lottery or being the 9th caller on a radio show to win concert tickets) fall into a slightly separate category, I think that everyone has the power to make their dreams a reality, and to take charge of the direction their life is headed.
I remember hearing this story about a woman from Texas and her path to live her dream. She worked her way through the public school system and got herself into Stanford. She graduated with an Economics degree and moved on to Stanford Law School, where she served on the Stanford Law Review. Successfully graduating from Stanford Law, she was on her way to live her dream of becoming a lawyer in a large law firm. The problem…no one would hire her because she was a woman. The sole job offer she received was as a legal secretary. (Wow…Stanford Law Degree and all she could get was a job making coffee and typing letters? I bet Susan B. Anthony was turning over in her grave.) But she didn’t let that stop her. She went into public service and worked in a number of positions helping the public sector. She made her way to becoming the Assistant Attorney General for the state of Arizona, appointed to the Arizona State Senate, and eventually became the first woman appointed to the Supreme Court of the United States. Yes, Ladies and Gents, that woman with the law degree from the #3 law school in the United States who couldn’t land a job making more than minimum wage as a secretary was none other than Sandra Day O’Connor.
So how can we live our dreams, and get what we want out of life? Anatole France once said, “To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act.” So why not put some action around those dreams and goals you have?? Let’s say, for example, your dream is to land a new job, or get promoted at work. What is one thing that you can do today to take you one step (even a small step) toward that new job, or that promotion? Maybe it’s updating your resume, or having a candid talk with your boss, or defining for what you really want out of your career. Come on, you have million ideas in your head of things you want to try to help make your dreams a reality. So why not try one of them? Take that first step! Start making your dreams a reality and accomplishing your goals.
Walt Disney said something I will never forget. ”If you can dream it, you can do it.”
So what are you going to do today to make your dreams and goals a reality?
In researching what the word “dream” is defined as, my dictionary gave me two definitions.
“A cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.”
AND
“An unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy.”
(Did they just say “self-deluding”? Isn’t that kinda harsh?)
How many of us categorize our dreams using the former definition, and how many categorize using the latter? More importantly, how many of us go from defining our dreams from the former TO the latter? God knows I have…countless times. OK, granted I do think that dreams that are associated with luck (like winning the lottery or being the 9th caller on a radio show to win concert tickets) fall into a slightly separate category, I think that everyone has the power to make their dreams a reality, and to take charge of the direction their life is headed.
I remember hearing this story about a woman from Texas and her path to live her dream. She worked her way through the public school system and got herself into Stanford. She graduated with an Economics degree and moved on to Stanford Law School, where she served on the Stanford Law Review. Successfully graduating from Stanford Law, she was on her way to live her dream of becoming a lawyer in a large law firm. The problem…no one would hire her because she was a woman. The sole job offer she received was as a legal secretary. (Wow…Stanford Law Degree and all she could get was a job making coffee and typing letters? I bet Susan B. Anthony was turning over in her grave.) But she didn’t let that stop her. She went into public service and worked in a number of positions helping the public sector. She made her way to becoming the Assistant Attorney General for the state of Arizona, appointed to the Arizona State Senate, and eventually became the first woman appointed to the Supreme Court of the United States. Yes, Ladies and Gents, that woman with the law degree from the #3 law school in the United States who couldn’t land a job making more than minimum wage as a secretary was none other than Sandra Day O’Connor.
So how can we live our dreams, and get what we want out of life? Anatole France once said, “To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act.” So why not put some action around those dreams and goals you have?? Let’s say, for example, your dream is to land a new job, or get promoted at work. What is one thing that you can do today to take you one step (even a small step) toward that new job, or that promotion? Maybe it’s updating your resume, or having a candid talk with your boss, or defining for what you really want out of your career. Come on, you have million ideas in your head of things you want to try to help make your dreams a reality. So why not try one of them? Take that first step! Start making your dreams a reality and accomplishing your goals.
Walt Disney said something I will never forget. ”If you can dream it, you can do it.”
So what are you going to do today to make your dreams and goals a reality?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Failure Is Success...
I was in Seattle a few days ago visiting one of my closest friends (and biggest inspirations) from college. While she was preparing dinner, I was in the backyard playing with her two children. They have a big fort/jungle gym in the backyard (When I asked who helped build the jungle gym, the eldest of the two children said “Grandpa did. He’s a really good worker.” Kids…they say the darnedest things.) The youngest, a gorgeous little girl who is almost two, was climbing up the ladder that led to the top of the jungle gym. She kept on repeating, “Slide! Slide!” as she climbed a ladder, which was almost 6 feet off the ground. She made her way over to the slide, sat, and slid down. She then repeated that for, oh, about 10 minutes, never showing any fear of climbing a wooden vertical staircase 3 times her height, or flying down a childproofed sheet of plastic with no breaks. On her last trip down, she decided that she was done with the NORMAL ways to go down the slide, turned around, and started climbing UP the slide. And though she could only make it about halfway before she slid down, she just kept on trying to go up, up, up, and continued to climb, climb, climb, until something else sparked her attention and she went running off across the yard (This time it was to sit and play with the clips on her bicycle helmet strap. Who needs a PS3 when you can give kids a shoe box top and a water bottle and they can play for hours??)
Watching my friend’s daughter play, I was so amazed at how much she WASN’T afraid of. She climbed up that ladder like that was what she was born to do. No fear in her eyes at all. And when she was climbing up the slide (and not getting very far because her slick shoes prevented her from climbing very fast), she continued to persevere because she WAS making progress. No fear of failing because, well, if she slipped and slid down the slide, she would just get back up and start all over again. Seeing all of this, I thought to myself, “Where did I learn to be scared from? Who taught me to fear failure? And when did I become so jaded about not trying things because of the fear I might fail?”
I have been thinking about that day all weekend, and am still in awe at the ability of kids to just go for it with no fear at all. So why can’t I be that way?
Truth of the matter is, I can. Anyone can. You just have to “tweak” the way you look at life and what’s in front of you. It’s taking yourself to the perspective of “What’s the worst that can happen?” You fail? GREAT! Failing at something is one of the biggest “wins” you can have from an experience. Why? It teaches you what didn’t work and, more importantly, it opens up different ways of thinking on what you need to do in order to succeed. Malcom S. Forbes said “Failure is success, if we learn from it.” My friend’s daughter would have eventually figured out that climbing UP the slide wasn’t the best way to get to the top, and that she’d probably be more successful if she went back to the ladder. But she wouldn’t have known that unless she tried. And she ended up having some fun in the process as well.
Don’t be afraid to fail…embrace it and learn from it.
And to think I was reminded of this from a little girl climbing up a ladder. Don’t discount the power of children…they can teach you a lot more than you think.
Watching my friend’s daughter play, I was so amazed at how much she WASN’T afraid of. She climbed up that ladder like that was what she was born to do. No fear in her eyes at all. And when she was climbing up the slide (and not getting very far because her slick shoes prevented her from climbing very fast), she continued to persevere because she WAS making progress. No fear of failing because, well, if she slipped and slid down the slide, she would just get back up and start all over again. Seeing all of this, I thought to myself, “Where did I learn to be scared from? Who taught me to fear failure? And when did I become so jaded about not trying things because of the fear I might fail?”
I have been thinking about that day all weekend, and am still in awe at the ability of kids to just go for it with no fear at all. So why can’t I be that way?
Truth of the matter is, I can. Anyone can. You just have to “tweak” the way you look at life and what’s in front of you. It’s taking yourself to the perspective of “What’s the worst that can happen?” You fail? GREAT! Failing at something is one of the biggest “wins” you can have from an experience. Why? It teaches you what didn’t work and, more importantly, it opens up different ways of thinking on what you need to do in order to succeed. Malcom S. Forbes said “Failure is success, if we learn from it.” My friend’s daughter would have eventually figured out that climbing UP the slide wasn’t the best way to get to the top, and that she’d probably be more successful if she went back to the ladder. But she wouldn’t have known that unless she tried. And she ended up having some fun in the process as well.
Don’t be afraid to fail…embrace it and learn from it.
And to think I was reminded of this from a little girl climbing up a ladder. Don’t discount the power of children…they can teach you a lot more than you think.
Monday, May 3, 2010
My Life Is My Message...
I was walking behind the Ferry Building along San Francisco Bay today with two of my friends and came across a statue of Gandhi. Below the statue was an inscription of one of Gandhi’s famous quotes…
“My life is my message…”
As I sat with my friends staring out over the bay, I thought to myself how powerful, yet how true that statement is. Everything you do sends a message to the world. The energy you exude (whether that be positive, negative, happy, sad, or whatever…) silently yet profoundly tells the world around you who you are. The actions you take and the choices you make send the message of who you are and the kind of person you want to be.
Some of the questions that went through my mind were:
When I am 90 and I look back on my life, what kind of message do I want to have sent to the world?
What will people remember me by? What do I want them to remember me by?
And probably the most important question of all…
How will I have influenced the world by the message I have sent?
Your life is your story…your “message.” And you have the power to write that story however you want. Every one of us has an inner power deep down that drives us everyday. And I firmly believe that each person on this earth can use that power to make their life into whatever they want it to be.
What is your “message?” Come on, you know what it is. So visualize it. Verbalize it. Write it down. But more importantly, LIVE your message.
My message to the world? Be yourself , live your life the way you want to live it…and do it with a smile ☺
“My life is my message…”
As I sat with my friends staring out over the bay, I thought to myself how powerful, yet how true that statement is. Everything you do sends a message to the world. The energy you exude (whether that be positive, negative, happy, sad, or whatever…) silently yet profoundly tells the world around you who you are. The actions you take and the choices you make send the message of who you are and the kind of person you want to be.
Some of the questions that went through my mind were:
When I am 90 and I look back on my life, what kind of message do I want to have sent to the world?
What will people remember me by? What do I want them to remember me by?
And probably the most important question of all…
How will I have influenced the world by the message I have sent?
Your life is your story…your “message.” And you have the power to write that story however you want. Every one of us has an inner power deep down that drives us everyday. And I firmly believe that each person on this earth can use that power to make their life into whatever they want it to be.
What is your “message?” Come on, you know what it is. So visualize it. Verbalize it. Write it down. But more importantly, LIVE your message.
My message to the world? Be yourself , live your life the way you want to live it…and do it with a smile ☺
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