It’s been a while since I updated my blog, but a lot has happened between my last post and now…
-After 12 years of living in Japan, I said goodbye to my life in Tokyo and moved to New York.
-I started a new job.
-I completed my coaching certification training and passed my written exam.
-Oh…and I’m in the middle of planning my wedding, which is happening in 28 days.
So things have been just a little crazy around here. However, I felt pretty compelled to sit down and write this entry given that 1) it’s the season to think about giving and 2) Suze Orman reinforced something I was thinking earlier today. (Watch her Dec. 4th show to know more.)
Ok, so picture this. I am walking down 23rd St. toward my place. It’s about 28 degrees Fahrenheit (-2 degrees Celsius for those of you on the metric system), but the wind is making it feel like it’s 10 below zero. I lost my gloves that night in the scuffle to give a teenager a few bucks to get something to eat, so my hands were freezing. All I could think about was getting home fast so I could relax in my warm apartment. After I got home, I cranked up the heat to about 70, made myself a cup of tea, and sat in the comfort of my living room, enjoying my little Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
And then I realized that people are still outside, living in the cold I had just escaped. And I started thinking about how lucky I am to have what I do.
It’s estimated that in the US alone, there are anywhere between 200,000-500,000 people who are homeless. And these statistics continue to grow because of the ailing economy, the number of jobs that continue to be lost, as well as limited choices for those facing financial issues. I am sure that if you interviewed a number of homeless, you’d find that they are out of a home for a number of reasons, from domestic violence to simply running out of money. I am sure you would also find that, if given the choice, most of these people would chose to be in a home rather than trying to survive out on the streets.
And it is so easy for each one of us to make a small difference in these people’s lives.
Earlier today, I was unpacking my things that had arrived from Japan on Saturday. And the one thing I kept telling myself is “I have too much clothing.” How many of us have things in our closets that we have either never worn, or worn a few times, and just let hang in our closet, waiting to lose the extra 5 pounds to fit back into that item, or hanging onto it because “you know you’ll wear it someday.”
So here are a few ways you can make a difference this holiday season, and it will cost you little to no money at all:
1) Donate your clothes—Here is a great rule of thumb. If you didn’t wear it last season, it goes. Plain and simple. Some people use the 6 month rule, but I am a believer that if you didn’t wear it last year, chances are that you won’t wear it this year.
Donating is SO EASY as well. In Japan, the Salvation Army will take your items free of charge. You can send your old clothing to them directly to 男子社会奉仕センター 東京都杉並区和田2-21-2
When I sent my clothes, I would also include a few thousand yen as donation money to assist with the cost of laundering/processing the clothing. You will receive a receipt back for any monetary donation that you can use to write off your taxes.
In the states, around this time of year there are places all over that you can take your clothes to be donated. Your local places of worship, Salvation Army, or other community centers often have drop off boxes where you can take your clothing you no longer need.
2) Volunteer your time—How many of you actually do anything on Christmas Day outside of open presents, watch football on TV, and eat until you are about to pop? Why not take an hour or two out of your Christmas Day to help volunteer at a church or soup kitchen that is serving Christmas dinner to those in need? Or find a place that is helping to distribute gifts to kids who are less fortunate? Around the holiday season, there are a number of volunteer activities you can participate in. Come on…you all know how to use the Internet. Get on line and find something that will help make someone’s holiday just that much more special.
3) Adopt a family—There are currently over 15 million unemployed people in the US. The holidays cannot be an easy time for any of those without a job, as the limited funds that they have probably go to pay for the essentials needed to survive. How can you help them have a brighter holiday season? The Salvation Army in the US runs a program called “Adopt-A-Family.” Basically, you would sponsor a family that has applied to the Adopt-A-Family program, and either purchase gifts for them (either requested gifts, or gifts of your choice), or offer them support in other ways, such as paying a few of their bills or a portion of their rent. Given that we have so much in our lives, isn’t this the perfect season to try and share what you have with someone else in the world? For more information on the Adopt-A-Family program, click HERE.
These are just a few ideas for you all to ponder. I am sure many of you have your own ideas or creative thoughts on how to make a difference this holiday season as well.
I know I put this quote by Gandhi in one of my earlier blog entries this year, but it seems very appropriate for this entry as well. He said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If each one of us did one nice thing for one person, think of the amount of good we could do in this world.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Get Out Of Your Own Way...
OK, it’s been a few weeks since my last blog entry. And looking at the title of my last entry, this one may make me look a bit bi-polar, but just go along with me for a sec here…
In the journey of life, you learn something new about yourself everyday. And along this journey, I am sure you have found yourself saying, “Yes! I want to do that!” or “Yeah, I think I want to give that a try!” Maybe you’ve even said, “I know that if I did that, I would be so much happier.
Some of you, months later, are still saying the same thing.
My question to you is, ”What’s stopping you?”
If you want something so badly, why not make the move? Why not do something about it? What’s standing in your way of getting what you really want?
We can come up with a number of excuses of why we don’t make moves to make our dreams reality, or make changes we want to see in our lives. But the more important questions you should ask yourself are:
1) What is it that I truly want?
2) If I really want this, what is stopping me from taking that first step?
3) What do I need to do to get past whatever is stopping me so I can get moving?
Forget #2 and #3 for a second, and just look at the first question. Take a step back and think about it. What do you really want? What is going to make you feel truly fulfilled in your life? What do you value about that? And how are you honoring that value in your life right now?
The right answer is inside of you. You know yourself best and you know exactly what will make you happy. It’s saying it out loud that is the first step.
Questions #2 and #3 I will address in my blog entries in the coming weeks. For now, give yourself time to think about #1.
Nelson Mandela (well, Morgan Freeman in the movie “Invictus” anyway) quoted a poem that I found really profound:
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
You control your own life. You control your own destiny. You are in charge of how your life is going to turn out. So get out of your own way, and take the first step toward happiness and living your life the way you want to. You owe it to yourself, and I guarantee you will be happier in the long run.
In the journey of life, you learn something new about yourself everyday. And along this journey, I am sure you have found yourself saying, “Yes! I want to do that!” or “Yeah, I think I want to give that a try!” Maybe you’ve even said, “I know that if I did that, I would be so much happier.
Some of you, months later, are still saying the same thing.
My question to you is, ”What’s stopping you?”
If you want something so badly, why not make the move? Why not do something about it? What’s standing in your way of getting what you really want?
We can come up with a number of excuses of why we don’t make moves to make our dreams reality, or make changes we want to see in our lives. But the more important questions you should ask yourself are:
1) What is it that I truly want?
2) If I really want this, what is stopping me from taking that first step?
3) What do I need to do to get past whatever is stopping me so I can get moving?
Forget #2 and #3 for a second, and just look at the first question. Take a step back and think about it. What do you really want? What is going to make you feel truly fulfilled in your life? What do you value about that? And how are you honoring that value in your life right now?
The right answer is inside of you. You know yourself best and you know exactly what will make you happy. It’s saying it out loud that is the first step.
Questions #2 and #3 I will address in my blog entries in the coming weeks. For now, give yourself time to think about #1.
Nelson Mandela (well, Morgan Freeman in the movie “Invictus” anyway) quoted a poem that I found really profound:
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
You control your own life. You control your own destiny. You are in charge of how your life is going to turn out. So get out of your own way, and take the first step toward happiness and living your life the way you want to. You owe it to yourself, and I guarantee you will be happier in the long run.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
What's the rush??
My friend forwarded me a story about an American man who started working for Volvo in Sweden, and the things he learned from the Swedish and their culture. One of the parts of his story that struck me was regarding taking life slow and enjoying your time. In it, he talked about how he got a ride to work with one of his Swedish co-workers. They arrived quite early in the morning and the parking lot was empty. Instead of taking the first available parking slot close to the company’s front door, however, the co-worker drove to the furthest part of the parking lot and found a spot there. When the American man asked his co-worker why he had picked the furthest spot from the front door, the co-worker answered, “ We’re early, so we have time to walk. Besides, those who are running late will need the spots closer to the door to get to work on time.”
“We’re early so we have time to walk.” Wow. Talk about a different perspective. Living in Tokyo, even going to the supermarket feels like I’m at the starting line of a marathon fighting to get to the front of the line. And let’s not even talk about the people who take three steps at a time up the staircase at the train station just to dive head first into a train and knock over 5 people in the process.
But how often do we actually think about living a “slow life?” I’ll admit, it’s a rare occasion for me. Society has taught us to cram as much into our day as we can. Business is driven on results being delivered on or ahead of schedule. We even have functions on our smart phones that will tell us how much time it will take us to get from point A to point B, so we can plan everything down to the last minute.
How many times, though, has being in a rush backfired on you? I am reminded of a song that I heard on (don’t laugh…) the Winnie The Pooh Show when I was a kid. (Seriously, stop laughing. It was a GOOD show when I was 7.) Anyway, Eeyore used to sing a song that went something like “Take your time, don’t hurry and scurry along. When you hurry, things tumble to the ground.” I cannot tell you how many countless times I have crashed, tripped, dropped something, broken something, or did something else completely avoidable if I had taken my time.
Beyond just taking your time, it’s about enjoying that time. It’s about noticing what’s around you, how it affects who you are, and what you are becoming. It’s about being with yourself and your loved ones, and appreciating the life you’ve been given. It’s about taking the time to learn about yourself and what you want out of life. It’s about relaxing, and just being. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
So do something for yourself that will allow you to experience a “slow life.” Walk to work (or at least part of the way) instead of taking the train. Get up 30 minutes early and read the newspaper over a cup of coffee. Go sit in a park and just people watch. Find whatever works for you to put some extra time in your day. And take notice of what comes up for you. Maybe you’ll even learn a little more about yourself and who you want to become.
“We’re early so we have time to walk.” Wow. Talk about a different perspective. Living in Tokyo, even going to the supermarket feels like I’m at the starting line of a marathon fighting to get to the front of the line. And let’s not even talk about the people who take three steps at a time up the staircase at the train station just to dive head first into a train and knock over 5 people in the process.
But how often do we actually think about living a “slow life?” I’ll admit, it’s a rare occasion for me. Society has taught us to cram as much into our day as we can. Business is driven on results being delivered on or ahead of schedule. We even have functions on our smart phones that will tell us how much time it will take us to get from point A to point B, so we can plan everything down to the last minute.
How many times, though, has being in a rush backfired on you? I am reminded of a song that I heard on (don’t laugh…) the Winnie The Pooh Show when I was a kid. (Seriously, stop laughing. It was a GOOD show when I was 7.) Anyway, Eeyore used to sing a song that went something like “Take your time, don’t hurry and scurry along. When you hurry, things tumble to the ground.” I cannot tell you how many countless times I have crashed, tripped, dropped something, broken something, or did something else completely avoidable if I had taken my time.
Beyond just taking your time, it’s about enjoying that time. It’s about noticing what’s around you, how it affects who you are, and what you are becoming. It’s about being with yourself and your loved ones, and appreciating the life you’ve been given. It’s about taking the time to learn about yourself and what you want out of life. It’s about relaxing, and just being. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
So do something for yourself that will allow you to experience a “slow life.” Walk to work (or at least part of the way) instead of taking the train. Get up 30 minutes early and read the newspaper over a cup of coffee. Go sit in a park and just people watch. Find whatever works for you to put some extra time in your day. And take notice of what comes up for you. Maybe you’ll even learn a little more about yourself and who you want to become.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Being Thankful For What You Have
Everything in life happens for a reason. I firmly believe that. I know, I know, some people may disagree with me in favor of “the Almighty powers that be”, and that’s fine. But I am of the mindset that there is a reason for everything, that our lives are shaped by what happens to us everyday, so we can learn, grow, and become better people in this world.
And it took United Airlines to remind me of this.
Seven days ago, I started my journey that took me from Hong Kong, through Tokyo, San Francisco, Washington DC, and finally to Orlando, Florida. Along the way, my trip was hampered by a number of unforeseen setbacks.
My flight from DC to Savannah (my original final destination) was cancelled.
My new flight from DC to Orlando (the following day) was delayed twice.
My luggage (which I wasn’t allowed to retrieve in DC) was sent to Savannah instead of Orlando.
So with two extra shirts, one spare pair of underwear, and minimal toiletries in my carry-on, I somehow managed to make it to Orlando in one piece. United Airlines, though “apologetic” (more “scripted” than “heartfelt”) when I spoke to them several times on the phone, were not doing anything to help get my bags to me. The only things going through my head were “When am I getting my bag?!?! My new Diesel jeans were in that bag! I have no more contact lenses!” Throughout my first day at Disney World with my parents, my brother and his family, I couldn’t shake this irritated feeling of “United sucks (pardon my language…), and I am so going to let someone have it if I don’t get my bag back.”
As I returned to my room late in the afternoon to call United for the umpteenth time to try and locate my bag, I got a message from a very good friend asking me to call him. After exchanging pleasantries, he told me that his grandmother had passed away. He was sad and upset at her passing, and he spoke about her and how he and his family were coping with everything. As I listened, I realized that I had been focusing all of my energy on how bad my trip out had been and how United losing my bag had put a huge damper of my visit with my family. And here is my friend who will never be able to speak to his grandmother again telling me about how he really wished he could be with his family during this difficult time.
It put a lot into perspective for me--
I am with my family, spending time with loved ones I get to see, if I am lucky, once a year.
I got to my final destination in one piece.
I am at “The Happiest Place on Earth”, and I really need to enjoy that.
So where am I going with all of this? More so than anything, this was a wakeup call for me to remember to be thankful for that which I have, and not to focus so much on the negativity of a situation. We all can fall into that trap so easily. Does it mean you can’t get upset about bad things that happen in your life? No, of course it doesn't. We are all human—we are machines that are built to feel emotion. However, looking at your life from a variety of perspectives, and learning to appreciate what you’ve have rather than what you don’t have is key to living a life that will serve you to the fullest.
What are you thankful for in your life?
And it took United Airlines to remind me of this.
Seven days ago, I started my journey that took me from Hong Kong, through Tokyo, San Francisco, Washington DC, and finally to Orlando, Florida. Along the way, my trip was hampered by a number of unforeseen setbacks.
My flight from DC to Savannah (my original final destination) was cancelled.
My new flight from DC to Orlando (the following day) was delayed twice.
My luggage (which I wasn’t allowed to retrieve in DC) was sent to Savannah instead of Orlando.
So with two extra shirts, one spare pair of underwear, and minimal toiletries in my carry-on, I somehow managed to make it to Orlando in one piece. United Airlines, though “apologetic” (more “scripted” than “heartfelt”) when I spoke to them several times on the phone, were not doing anything to help get my bags to me. The only things going through my head were “When am I getting my bag?!?! My new Diesel jeans were in that bag! I have no more contact lenses!” Throughout my first day at Disney World with my parents, my brother and his family, I couldn’t shake this irritated feeling of “United sucks (pardon my language…), and I am so going to let someone have it if I don’t get my bag back.”
As I returned to my room late in the afternoon to call United for the umpteenth time to try and locate my bag, I got a message from a very good friend asking me to call him. After exchanging pleasantries, he told me that his grandmother had passed away. He was sad and upset at her passing, and he spoke about her and how he and his family were coping with everything. As I listened, I realized that I had been focusing all of my energy on how bad my trip out had been and how United losing my bag had put a huge damper of my visit with my family. And here is my friend who will never be able to speak to his grandmother again telling me about how he really wished he could be with his family during this difficult time.
It put a lot into perspective for me--
I am with my family, spending time with loved ones I get to see, if I am lucky, once a year.
I got to my final destination in one piece.
I am at “The Happiest Place on Earth”, and I really need to enjoy that.
So where am I going with all of this? More so than anything, this was a wakeup call for me to remember to be thankful for that which I have, and not to focus so much on the negativity of a situation. We all can fall into that trap so easily. Does it mean you can’t get upset about bad things that happen in your life? No, of course it doesn't. We are all human—we are machines that are built to feel emotion. However, looking at your life from a variety of perspectives, and learning to appreciate what you’ve have rather than what you don’t have is key to living a life that will serve you to the fullest.
What are you thankful for in your life?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Your Thoughts Create Your Reality...
I was in a yoga class last week and my instructor said something that I have been pondering everyday since. “Your thoughts create your reality.” It took me a while to put my head around what that really meant for me, but by the end of my class I realized how that resonated in my life.
So what does this phrase really mean? Put simply, your thoughts and feelings are directly correlated to how you shape your life everyday. Further, the way those thoughts and feelings are shown on the outside have a direct influence on those around you. Think back to a time when you were just in a bad mood (we’re all human…it happens to everyone.) Something had put you into a foul state and you just didn’t want to deal with anyone or anything. How did that affect the decisions you made about what you were going to do that day, or how you were going to work? Some may say “I just don’t want to deal with this”, and walk away from whatever it is that they’re in the middle of. Others might just retreat into their “safe zone” and separate from the world for a while. Now flip that around. Think of a time when you were in a positive mood, when everything was going right, and you were just having an awesome day. What was your outlook on life? How much more did you think was possible for you to accomplish? Where did you want to take yourself next?
Does this mean that we need to be happy, chipper, bouncing-off-the-walls, positive people all the time? No, it doesn’t. We are human beings. We are inherent feelers of emotion. That goes for both the positive side of the spectrum as well as the negative. However, we need to be aware of how our emotions and the thoughts that come from them affect our lives, and how we live them. We need to be aware of how what’s on the inside is shaping our lives on the outside. It is this awareness, how you deal with your thoughts and emotions, and the resulting actions, that will help shape the decisions you make, and eventually the direction in which you steer your life.
So try this…next time you are really angry or upset, stop and do an internal check. See what’s going on in that head of yours. Ask yourself “How will this/has this state of anger or being upset going to affect/already affected my day?” Try it when you’re experiencing a positive, happy emotional state as well. See what you notice about yourself. Don’t turn into a psychoanalyst or anything. Just be aware and notice.
I am going to end with another Gandhi quote that I absolutely love…
Keep your thoughts positive,
because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive,
because your words become your behaviours.
Keep your behaviours positive,
because your behaviours become your habits.
Keep your habits positive,
because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive,
because your values become your destiny.
Enjoy learning more about yourself…you’ll be amazed at some of the things you’ll discover.
So what does this phrase really mean? Put simply, your thoughts and feelings are directly correlated to how you shape your life everyday. Further, the way those thoughts and feelings are shown on the outside have a direct influence on those around you. Think back to a time when you were just in a bad mood (we’re all human…it happens to everyone.) Something had put you into a foul state and you just didn’t want to deal with anyone or anything. How did that affect the decisions you made about what you were going to do that day, or how you were going to work? Some may say “I just don’t want to deal with this”, and walk away from whatever it is that they’re in the middle of. Others might just retreat into their “safe zone” and separate from the world for a while. Now flip that around. Think of a time when you were in a positive mood, when everything was going right, and you were just having an awesome day. What was your outlook on life? How much more did you think was possible for you to accomplish? Where did you want to take yourself next?
Does this mean that we need to be happy, chipper, bouncing-off-the-walls, positive people all the time? No, it doesn’t. We are human beings. We are inherent feelers of emotion. That goes for both the positive side of the spectrum as well as the negative. However, we need to be aware of how our emotions and the thoughts that come from them affect our lives, and how we live them. We need to be aware of how what’s on the inside is shaping our lives on the outside. It is this awareness, how you deal with your thoughts and emotions, and the resulting actions, that will help shape the decisions you make, and eventually the direction in which you steer your life.
So try this…next time you are really angry or upset, stop and do an internal check. See what’s going on in that head of yours. Ask yourself “How will this/has this state of anger or being upset going to affect/already affected my day?” Try it when you’re experiencing a positive, happy emotional state as well. See what you notice about yourself. Don’t turn into a psychoanalyst or anything. Just be aware and notice.
I am going to end with another Gandhi quote that I absolutely love…
Keep your thoughts positive,
because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive,
because your words become your behaviours.
Keep your behaviours positive,
because your behaviours become your habits.
Keep your habits positive,
because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive,
because your values become your destiny.
Enjoy learning more about yourself…you’ll be amazed at some of the things you’ll discover.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Accountability=Success...
All right, so my last blog entry was pretty “head in the clouds” kinda dreamy, hopefully inspiring, which we all need once in a while, right? So how many of you actually took a step to make your dream a reality, or to bring yourself one step closer to a goal? EVERYONE? Awesome! (OK, I know, I am being facetious….just play along with me here for a sec.) So now what? What are you doing to continue your momentum? And who or what is going to hold you accountable? (Um…did he just say ACCOUNTABLE? What’s that???)
I am going to share with you a little story about accountability, and how it worked for me. I used to have a huge problem with biting my nails (I know…completely gross…not proud of it…but I’m only human.) I did it unconsciously until my friend at work who sat next to me said, “MARK! Stop biting your nails!!” She would remind me every day. And it got to the point to where I said, “I really need to do something about this.” So I told her that every time I bit my nails, or she caught me biting my nails, I would owe her 100 yen (Equivalent to about $1…at that time anyway…). The first day, I handed her a total of 1,000 yen. The next day, another 1,000 yen. I knew I needed to do something about this nail biting thing, or else I was going to go broke. Gradually, my nail biting became less frequent (and my wallet and social life thanked me whole-heartedly.) I even started counting how many times I bit my nails on the weekends and handed my friend the amount of money I owed for my transgressions. It was because I knew someone was holding me accountable for a goal that I set, that I eventually stopped biting my nails. To celebrate, my friend and I took the money I had saved up and went out for the most amazing Korean barbecue I have ever had (I won’t tell you how much money I ended up handing over to her, but let’s just say we ate very, very well.)
Why do we fail to accomplish goals we set for ourselves? One reason is because no one holds us accountable for these goals, or what we say we are going to do around them. How many of you have set goals, for example, at work, and the only time you look at them is when you’re writing your year-end review? I am guilty of being on both ends of that one, both as an employee and a manager. I would set goals for myself, but would never strive to complete them because my manager would never ask, “Hey Mark, how are you going with ABC?” As a manager, I know that I could have done a much better job reviewing goals with my staff and ensuring they were getting done.
So how can you guarantee that the goals you set for yourself, both short term and long term, get done? How can you ensure that you are being held accountable for the things you want to achieve? Here are a few ideas that might work for you:
1) Find someone to hold you accountable—Ask a friend, a co-worker, a coach, your partner, or anyone you trust to help hold you accountable for goals you set. Give them specifics on how you want to be held accountable. You can try meeting for lunch every week, having them send you a daily e-mail reminding you of your goal, or just doing regular check-ins to make sure that you are on track. Having someone on the outside not only to hold you accountable, but also to be your support and encouragement will help you speed down your road to success.
2) Create an accountability chart—Remember those “chore charts” you used to have on the refrigerator when you were a kid? You would put a sticker, or a star next to the name of the chore after you accomplished it? Do the same for your goal. Every time you accomplish something that brings you closer to your goal, put a star on that chart. It sounds extremely “Kindergarten style”, I know. But studies have shown that people become more confident and more empowered to do more with their goal if the visually/physically see progress. If you are not making progress, you will be able to see it, and will need to come up with a way to help you get from where you are now to where you want to be.
3) Form a “Goal Group”—Do you have a goal similar to someone you know? Maybe you want to run a marathon, and you have a friend or two who want to do the same. Form a group! Put a plan together of how you are all going to work together to keep each other motivated and on track. Having others around you with similar goals keeps you pumped up, and now you have several heads to come up with new and fun ideas on how to bring yourself closer to achieving that goal.
Accountability is key to achieving your goals. So now that you’re on your way, how are you going to hold yourself accountable so you can reach your goals?
I am going to share with you a little story about accountability, and how it worked for me. I used to have a huge problem with biting my nails (I know…completely gross…not proud of it…but I’m only human.) I did it unconsciously until my friend at work who sat next to me said, “MARK! Stop biting your nails!!” She would remind me every day. And it got to the point to where I said, “I really need to do something about this.” So I told her that every time I bit my nails, or she caught me biting my nails, I would owe her 100 yen (Equivalent to about $1…at that time anyway…). The first day, I handed her a total of 1,000 yen. The next day, another 1,000 yen. I knew I needed to do something about this nail biting thing, or else I was going to go broke. Gradually, my nail biting became less frequent (and my wallet and social life thanked me whole-heartedly.) I even started counting how many times I bit my nails on the weekends and handed my friend the amount of money I owed for my transgressions. It was because I knew someone was holding me accountable for a goal that I set, that I eventually stopped biting my nails. To celebrate, my friend and I took the money I had saved up and went out for the most amazing Korean barbecue I have ever had (I won’t tell you how much money I ended up handing over to her, but let’s just say we ate very, very well.)
Why do we fail to accomplish goals we set for ourselves? One reason is because no one holds us accountable for these goals, or what we say we are going to do around them. How many of you have set goals, for example, at work, and the only time you look at them is when you’re writing your year-end review? I am guilty of being on both ends of that one, both as an employee and a manager. I would set goals for myself, but would never strive to complete them because my manager would never ask, “Hey Mark, how are you going with ABC?” As a manager, I know that I could have done a much better job reviewing goals with my staff and ensuring they were getting done.
So how can you guarantee that the goals you set for yourself, both short term and long term, get done? How can you ensure that you are being held accountable for the things you want to achieve? Here are a few ideas that might work for you:
1) Find someone to hold you accountable—Ask a friend, a co-worker, a coach, your partner, or anyone you trust to help hold you accountable for goals you set. Give them specifics on how you want to be held accountable. You can try meeting for lunch every week, having them send you a daily e-mail reminding you of your goal, or just doing regular check-ins to make sure that you are on track. Having someone on the outside not only to hold you accountable, but also to be your support and encouragement will help you speed down your road to success.
2) Create an accountability chart—Remember those “chore charts” you used to have on the refrigerator when you were a kid? You would put a sticker, or a star next to the name of the chore after you accomplished it? Do the same for your goal. Every time you accomplish something that brings you closer to your goal, put a star on that chart. It sounds extremely “Kindergarten style”, I know. But studies have shown that people become more confident and more empowered to do more with their goal if the visually/physically see progress. If you are not making progress, you will be able to see it, and will need to come up with a way to help you get from where you are now to where you want to be.
3) Form a “Goal Group”—Do you have a goal similar to someone you know? Maybe you want to run a marathon, and you have a friend or two who want to do the same. Form a group! Put a plan together of how you are all going to work together to keep each other motivated and on track. Having others around you with similar goals keeps you pumped up, and now you have several heads to come up with new and fun ideas on how to bring yourself closer to achieving that goal.
Accountability is key to achieving your goals. So now that you’re on your way, how are you going to hold yourself accountable so you can reach your goals?
Sunday, May 23, 2010
"If you can dream it, you can do it."
We all have dreams. I will admit it…I have them too. One of them is to own this awesome house on the north-east corner of Sanchez and 21st in San Francisco (Big dream, I know. But if any of you happen to stroll up that direction, you’ll know why it’s one of my dreams.)
In researching what the word “dream” is defined as, my dictionary gave me two definitions.
“A cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.”
AND
“An unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy.”
(Did they just say “self-deluding”? Isn’t that kinda harsh?)
How many of us categorize our dreams using the former definition, and how many categorize using the latter? More importantly, how many of us go from defining our dreams from the former TO the latter? God knows I have…countless times. OK, granted I do think that dreams that are associated with luck (like winning the lottery or being the 9th caller on a radio show to win concert tickets) fall into a slightly separate category, I think that everyone has the power to make their dreams a reality, and to take charge of the direction their life is headed.
I remember hearing this story about a woman from Texas and her path to live her dream. She worked her way through the public school system and got herself into Stanford. She graduated with an Economics degree and moved on to Stanford Law School, where she served on the Stanford Law Review. Successfully graduating from Stanford Law, she was on her way to live her dream of becoming a lawyer in a large law firm. The problem…no one would hire her because she was a woman. The sole job offer she received was as a legal secretary. (Wow…Stanford Law Degree and all she could get was a job making coffee and typing letters? I bet Susan B. Anthony was turning over in her grave.) But she didn’t let that stop her. She went into public service and worked in a number of positions helping the public sector. She made her way to becoming the Assistant Attorney General for the state of Arizona, appointed to the Arizona State Senate, and eventually became the first woman appointed to the Supreme Court of the United States. Yes, Ladies and Gents, that woman with the law degree from the #3 law school in the United States who couldn’t land a job making more than minimum wage as a secretary was none other than Sandra Day O’Connor.
So how can we live our dreams, and get what we want out of life? Anatole France once said, “To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act.” So why not put some action around those dreams and goals you have?? Let’s say, for example, your dream is to land a new job, or get promoted at work. What is one thing that you can do today to take you one step (even a small step) toward that new job, or that promotion? Maybe it’s updating your resume, or having a candid talk with your boss, or defining for what you really want out of your career. Come on, you have million ideas in your head of things you want to try to help make your dreams a reality. So why not try one of them? Take that first step! Start making your dreams a reality and accomplishing your goals.
Walt Disney said something I will never forget. ”If you can dream it, you can do it.”
So what are you going to do today to make your dreams and goals a reality?
In researching what the word “dream” is defined as, my dictionary gave me two definitions.
“A cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.”
AND
“An unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy.”
(Did they just say “self-deluding”? Isn’t that kinda harsh?)
How many of us categorize our dreams using the former definition, and how many categorize using the latter? More importantly, how many of us go from defining our dreams from the former TO the latter? God knows I have…countless times. OK, granted I do think that dreams that are associated with luck (like winning the lottery or being the 9th caller on a radio show to win concert tickets) fall into a slightly separate category, I think that everyone has the power to make their dreams a reality, and to take charge of the direction their life is headed.
I remember hearing this story about a woman from Texas and her path to live her dream. She worked her way through the public school system and got herself into Stanford. She graduated with an Economics degree and moved on to Stanford Law School, where she served on the Stanford Law Review. Successfully graduating from Stanford Law, she was on her way to live her dream of becoming a lawyer in a large law firm. The problem…no one would hire her because she was a woman. The sole job offer she received was as a legal secretary. (Wow…Stanford Law Degree and all she could get was a job making coffee and typing letters? I bet Susan B. Anthony was turning over in her grave.) But she didn’t let that stop her. She went into public service and worked in a number of positions helping the public sector. She made her way to becoming the Assistant Attorney General for the state of Arizona, appointed to the Arizona State Senate, and eventually became the first woman appointed to the Supreme Court of the United States. Yes, Ladies and Gents, that woman with the law degree from the #3 law school in the United States who couldn’t land a job making more than minimum wage as a secretary was none other than Sandra Day O’Connor.
So how can we live our dreams, and get what we want out of life? Anatole France once said, “To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act.” So why not put some action around those dreams and goals you have?? Let’s say, for example, your dream is to land a new job, or get promoted at work. What is one thing that you can do today to take you one step (even a small step) toward that new job, or that promotion? Maybe it’s updating your resume, or having a candid talk with your boss, or defining for what you really want out of your career. Come on, you have million ideas in your head of things you want to try to help make your dreams a reality. So why not try one of them? Take that first step! Start making your dreams a reality and accomplishing your goals.
Walt Disney said something I will never forget. ”If you can dream it, you can do it.”
So what are you going to do today to make your dreams and goals a reality?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Failure Is Success...
I was in Seattle a few days ago visiting one of my closest friends (and biggest inspirations) from college. While she was preparing dinner, I was in the backyard playing with her two children. They have a big fort/jungle gym in the backyard (When I asked who helped build the jungle gym, the eldest of the two children said “Grandpa did. He’s a really good worker.” Kids…they say the darnedest things.) The youngest, a gorgeous little girl who is almost two, was climbing up the ladder that led to the top of the jungle gym. She kept on repeating, “Slide! Slide!” as she climbed a ladder, which was almost 6 feet off the ground. She made her way over to the slide, sat, and slid down. She then repeated that for, oh, about 10 minutes, never showing any fear of climbing a wooden vertical staircase 3 times her height, or flying down a childproofed sheet of plastic with no breaks. On her last trip down, she decided that she was done with the NORMAL ways to go down the slide, turned around, and started climbing UP the slide. And though she could only make it about halfway before she slid down, she just kept on trying to go up, up, up, and continued to climb, climb, climb, until something else sparked her attention and she went running off across the yard (This time it was to sit and play with the clips on her bicycle helmet strap. Who needs a PS3 when you can give kids a shoe box top and a water bottle and they can play for hours??)
Watching my friend’s daughter play, I was so amazed at how much she WASN’T afraid of. She climbed up that ladder like that was what she was born to do. No fear in her eyes at all. And when she was climbing up the slide (and not getting very far because her slick shoes prevented her from climbing very fast), she continued to persevere because she WAS making progress. No fear of failing because, well, if she slipped and slid down the slide, she would just get back up and start all over again. Seeing all of this, I thought to myself, “Where did I learn to be scared from? Who taught me to fear failure? And when did I become so jaded about not trying things because of the fear I might fail?”
I have been thinking about that day all weekend, and am still in awe at the ability of kids to just go for it with no fear at all. So why can’t I be that way?
Truth of the matter is, I can. Anyone can. You just have to “tweak” the way you look at life and what’s in front of you. It’s taking yourself to the perspective of “What’s the worst that can happen?” You fail? GREAT! Failing at something is one of the biggest “wins” you can have from an experience. Why? It teaches you what didn’t work and, more importantly, it opens up different ways of thinking on what you need to do in order to succeed. Malcom S. Forbes said “Failure is success, if we learn from it.” My friend’s daughter would have eventually figured out that climbing UP the slide wasn’t the best way to get to the top, and that she’d probably be more successful if she went back to the ladder. But she wouldn’t have known that unless she tried. And she ended up having some fun in the process as well.
Don’t be afraid to fail…embrace it and learn from it.
And to think I was reminded of this from a little girl climbing up a ladder. Don’t discount the power of children…they can teach you a lot more than you think.
Watching my friend’s daughter play, I was so amazed at how much she WASN’T afraid of. She climbed up that ladder like that was what she was born to do. No fear in her eyes at all. And when she was climbing up the slide (and not getting very far because her slick shoes prevented her from climbing very fast), she continued to persevere because she WAS making progress. No fear of failing because, well, if she slipped and slid down the slide, she would just get back up and start all over again. Seeing all of this, I thought to myself, “Where did I learn to be scared from? Who taught me to fear failure? And when did I become so jaded about not trying things because of the fear I might fail?”
I have been thinking about that day all weekend, and am still in awe at the ability of kids to just go for it with no fear at all. So why can’t I be that way?
Truth of the matter is, I can. Anyone can. You just have to “tweak” the way you look at life and what’s in front of you. It’s taking yourself to the perspective of “What’s the worst that can happen?” You fail? GREAT! Failing at something is one of the biggest “wins” you can have from an experience. Why? It teaches you what didn’t work and, more importantly, it opens up different ways of thinking on what you need to do in order to succeed. Malcom S. Forbes said “Failure is success, if we learn from it.” My friend’s daughter would have eventually figured out that climbing UP the slide wasn’t the best way to get to the top, and that she’d probably be more successful if she went back to the ladder. But she wouldn’t have known that unless she tried. And she ended up having some fun in the process as well.
Don’t be afraid to fail…embrace it and learn from it.
And to think I was reminded of this from a little girl climbing up a ladder. Don’t discount the power of children…they can teach you a lot more than you think.
Monday, May 3, 2010
My Life Is My Message...
I was walking behind the Ferry Building along San Francisco Bay today with two of my friends and came across a statue of Gandhi. Below the statue was an inscription of one of Gandhi’s famous quotes…
“My life is my message…”
As I sat with my friends staring out over the bay, I thought to myself how powerful, yet how true that statement is. Everything you do sends a message to the world. The energy you exude (whether that be positive, negative, happy, sad, or whatever…) silently yet profoundly tells the world around you who you are. The actions you take and the choices you make send the message of who you are and the kind of person you want to be.
Some of the questions that went through my mind were:
When I am 90 and I look back on my life, what kind of message do I want to have sent to the world?
What will people remember me by? What do I want them to remember me by?
And probably the most important question of all…
How will I have influenced the world by the message I have sent?
Your life is your story…your “message.” And you have the power to write that story however you want. Every one of us has an inner power deep down that drives us everyday. And I firmly believe that each person on this earth can use that power to make their life into whatever they want it to be.
What is your “message?” Come on, you know what it is. So visualize it. Verbalize it. Write it down. But more importantly, LIVE your message.
My message to the world? Be yourself , live your life the way you want to live it…and do it with a smile ☺
“My life is my message…”
As I sat with my friends staring out over the bay, I thought to myself how powerful, yet how true that statement is. Everything you do sends a message to the world. The energy you exude (whether that be positive, negative, happy, sad, or whatever…) silently yet profoundly tells the world around you who you are. The actions you take and the choices you make send the message of who you are and the kind of person you want to be.
Some of the questions that went through my mind were:
When I am 90 and I look back on my life, what kind of message do I want to have sent to the world?
What will people remember me by? What do I want them to remember me by?
And probably the most important question of all…
How will I have influenced the world by the message I have sent?
Your life is your story…your “message.” And you have the power to write that story however you want. Every one of us has an inner power deep down that drives us everyday. And I firmly believe that each person on this earth can use that power to make their life into whatever they want it to be.
What is your “message?” Come on, you know what it is. So visualize it. Verbalize it. Write it down. But more importantly, LIVE your message.
My message to the world? Be yourself , live your life the way you want to live it…and do it with a smile ☺
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Choose to make an impact...
Since I have been thinking more about the choices I make, I have been a lot more conscious about how I feel right after I make a choice, and the impact on the world around me because of my choice.
Why did I just walk past that homeless man with the paper cup in his hand asking for money and not even acknowledge him? Am I that heartless?
Why didn’t I make it to the gym today? Am I seriously that lazy?
Why did I have that last Kamikaze shot? (Usually this is what I’m thinking the next morning when I wake up feeling like a semi has just driven through my forehead.)
One thing I realized is that even the smallest things I choose to do (or choose NOT to do) can have a huge impact on the world I live in. Letting someone go ahead of me through the door (“Ladies First” is a rule that should ALWAYS be enforced…), writing a letter to someone instead of sending an e-mail (Yes, there was a time when we didn’t have the internet, and you actually had to use pen and paper to send mail.), or just giving someone a hug (a 6-second hug allows for mood-boosting chemicals to be released in the brain, and has been proven to lower blood pressure.) There are countless simple acts of kindness that I can perform that can have a major impact on those around me.
Why not try it out? Do something today that brings some happiness/positive energy/love into someone else’s life. I bet you’ll feel pretty awesome afterward, and you might want to keep spreading even more Aloha in the world.
Choose to make an impact…
Why did I just walk past that homeless man with the paper cup in his hand asking for money and not even acknowledge him? Am I that heartless?
Why didn’t I make it to the gym today? Am I seriously that lazy?
Why did I have that last Kamikaze shot? (Usually this is what I’m thinking the next morning when I wake up feeling like a semi has just driven through my forehead.)
One thing I realized is that even the smallest things I choose to do (or choose NOT to do) can have a huge impact on the world I live in. Letting someone go ahead of me through the door (“Ladies First” is a rule that should ALWAYS be enforced…), writing a letter to someone instead of sending an e-mail (Yes, there was a time when we didn’t have the internet, and you actually had to use pen and paper to send mail.), or just giving someone a hug (a 6-second hug allows for mood-boosting chemicals to be released in the brain, and has been proven to lower blood pressure.) There are countless simple acts of kindness that I can perform that can have a major impact on those around me.
Why not try it out? Do something today that brings some happiness/positive energy/love into someone else’s life. I bet you’ll feel pretty awesome afterward, and you might want to keep spreading even more Aloha in the world.
Choose to make an impact…
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
What do you choose to be today?
So in starting my blog (which, incidentally, I have been mentally preparing for since September 2008...don't ask.) I have been beating myself up over what to write about?
Do I write about my life?
(Voice in my head: "Would anyone read it?")
Do I write about the food I cook?
(Voice in my head: "Actually, that might work...but it's so 'Julie and Julia.'")
Do I write about my exercise and yoga routines and how to live a healthier life?
(Voice in my head: "Yes...at the risk of being deemed a younger version of Richard Simmons...")
But one thing I have been going back and forth with in my life journey (especially over the past year) has been about the choices I make, and the way my life has been formed, the way I have grown, and the person I have become because of those choices.
We make choices everyday, every minute, every second. Your alarm goes off in the morning...you choose to get up or you choose to sleep in for 5 more minutes. It's Monday and you have work...you choose to go to work, or you choose to send in an e-mail to your boss saying "I have a slight fever and will be working from home today." You're at the bar and it's Happy Hour...you choose to either have a bottle of water or take advantage of that 2 for 1 drink special that is going to end in 5 minutes (even though you've already had 8 drinks.) Life is all about choices....and the choices you make shape how you live your life.
I have been thinking about the choices I have made thus far in my life, and whether they were good, bad, OK, smart, stupid, intelligent, well thought out, impulsive, or whatever. The conclusion I have come to is that I make choices that are right for me at the time. And all those choices I have made have helped me to become the person that I am today.
We all have the power to choose how we live our lives. It's not a matter of making "the right choice" or "the intelligent choice", or even "the responsible choice." Choose to live how you want to live. Choose to be who you want to be.
I choose to be the light that empowers people to be whatever they want to be, and to do whatever they want to do.
What do you choose to be today?
Do I write about my life?
(Voice in my head: "Would anyone read it?")
Do I write about the food I cook?
(Voice in my head: "Actually, that might work...but it's so 'Julie and Julia.'")
Do I write about my exercise and yoga routines and how to live a healthier life?
(Voice in my head: "Yes...at the risk of being deemed a younger version of Richard Simmons...")
But one thing I have been going back and forth with in my life journey (especially over the past year) has been about the choices I make, and the way my life has been formed, the way I have grown, and the person I have become because of those choices.
We make choices everyday, every minute, every second. Your alarm goes off in the morning...you choose to get up or you choose to sleep in for 5 more minutes. It's Monday and you have work...you choose to go to work, or you choose to send in an e-mail to your boss saying "I have a slight fever and will be working from home today." You're at the bar and it's Happy Hour...you choose to either have a bottle of water or take advantage of that 2 for 1 drink special that is going to end in 5 minutes (even though you've already had 8 drinks.) Life is all about choices....and the choices you make shape how you live your life.
I have been thinking about the choices I have made thus far in my life, and whether they were good, bad, OK, smart, stupid, intelligent, well thought out, impulsive, or whatever. The conclusion I have come to is that I make choices that are right for me at the time. And all those choices I have made have helped me to become the person that I am today.
We all have the power to choose how we live our lives. It's not a matter of making "the right choice" or "the intelligent choice", or even "the responsible choice." Choose to live how you want to live. Choose to be who you want to be.
I choose to be the light that empowers people to be whatever they want to be, and to do whatever they want to do.
What do you choose to be today?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)